While Joe Biden was hunkered down in his basement, he may have noticed the rioting and destruction in big cities like Portland, Chicago, and New York. No big deal he thought, nothing to see here. Even though fires and smoke billowed in the background, CNN, MSNBC, ABC news reporters and Democrat civic leaders all told the public, “These are peaceful demonstrations.”
Joe’s handlers, in the meantime were working on a strategy to pin all the destruction on racist, xenophobic America and a mean old President Trump who “fanned the flames” with his nasty threats to roll up the rioters and reestablish law and order. Besides, most Americans didn’t think law and order was all that important, they thought.
That narrative was pushed hard until the pollsters got busy and discovered what everyone else already knew: violence and mayhem is frowned upon by normal Americans. Much to Joe Biden’s dismay Americans are very concerned about personal safety, and the growing Civil War that seems to be erupting. Pollsters ultimately concluded that they guy who wants to be president but refuses to leave his basement needs to say something.
Even CNN’s Don Lemon said that the Kenosha violence was hurting Biden’s chances. Don whined, “The rioting has to stop. It’s showing up in the polling. It’s showing up in focus groups. It is the only thing right now that is sticking.”
Oh Really Don? You only think the rioting should stop now that its hurting Biden and Democrats reelection chances? The rioting has to stop because it’s disgusting. It makes no sense to burn down businesses, loot stores, vandalize statues over a sex offender with an order to stay clear of his victim resisted arrest, who went for a knife, and was a clear danger to the arresting officers and innocent civilians around him. Normal folks are fed up. That’s what’s showing up in the polls.
Like a late summer, demented version of Punxsutawney Phil, Joe burst out of his basement to finally concede that the ongoing violence was bad for America. There’s also those stock market and recovering economy issues that Joe says he’s better at, you know, by raising taxes.
Joe’s condemnation was blandly generic: “You know, as I said after George Floyd’s murder, protesting brutality is a right and absolutely necessary. But burning down communities is not protest- it’s needless violence, violence that endangers lives, violence that guts businesses and shutters businesses that serve the community. That’s wrong.”
He forgot to add something about putting rioters in jail and sending them a bill for the destruction they cause.
Another effect of all the violence in Democrat-run cities was that Gopher Joe was smoked out of his basement strategy. His handlers originally figured he was way ahead of President Trump in the polls so he could just stay home, not answer reporters questions or do interviews, and ride the lead to victory. Some, like Nancy Pelosi, even advised their dopey candidate to refuse to debate.
Apparently, Joe’s handlers have found that “not being Trump” won’t get Joe elected. As Biden ate soft foods and shuffled around in his house slippers, the Republicans had this big bounce after their own convention. They were busy doing what Democrats weren’t doing: defining Joe as a feeble-minded Grandpa who is obviously a trojan horse for the radical left in his party.
So, in a shift of strategy, Joe is promising to emerge from the basement and has promised to visit the voters so they can see just what kind of president he will make.
Good luck with that, Joe. Try not to call any women in your audience a “lying dog-faced pony soldier” or sniff their hair. It might remind them of what you did to Tara Reade, who is probably telling the truth about your wandering fingers.