Minnesota Governor Tim Walz (D) is so filled with masculine energy after his 2024 election campaign with Kamala Harris that he plans to run for president in 2028. That’s according to friends close to Walz who spoke with The Hill. However, there might be a tiny problem with that plan. Walz is running for a third term as Minnesota governor next year. But even his chances for reelection seem to be in jeopardy now because of the ballooning Somali fraud scandal that happened on his watch.
Most Americans were completely unaware of the existence of Tim Walz before last year. It wasn’t until Kamala Harris selected him as her running mate and he came prancing out on stage that he shot to national prominence. There was just something about Tim Walz!
Maybe it was the twinkle in his eye, or the spring in his step. We were all dazzled when he admitted during the vice presidential debate that he is “friends with lots of school shooters.” The media was so captivated by Tim Walz’s unbridled style of manhood that they forgot to do any vetting of his governorship.
Walz’s friends are now worried that this could come back to bite him. Especially as federal investigators continue to unravel a complex web of fake Somali non-profit organizations that formed right under Walz’s nose. Investigators now believe that the Somali refugees took advantage of state and federal programs in Minnesota that ripped off more than $8 billion from the American taxpayers. For comparison, Somalia’s entire GDP is only about $11 billion per year.
As soon as Joe Biden was installed in the White House, the Democrats flooded states with pandemic money. That’s when the fraud kicked off in Minnesota. Nearly 500 state employees have now come forward to say that Tim Walz ignored their repeated warnings about all the Somali fraud that was happening—for years. Walz’s allies and underlings allegedly punished any whistleblowers who tried to sound the alarm.
Ember Reichgott Junge is a former Democrat state senator from Minnesota who knows Walz well. She says she doesn’t like Walz’s chances in his reelection bid for 2026.
Junge told The Hill, “He clearly is vulnerable and in my view, he is riskier than any other Democratic candidate that might run.”
Junge added that the Somali fraud “happened on his watch” and he “cannot erase that.”
An unidentified friend of Tim Walz added, “It’s clearly a real vulnerability.” The friend notes that Minnesotans have a very low tolerance for fraud. The friend said that this will likely derail Tim Walz’s re-election bid in 2026, as well as his presidential ambitions for 2028.
To which we say… Run, Timmy, Run!
Small Business Administration Secretary Kelley Loeffler says her agency is finding more examples of Somali fraud, and that Tim Walz is doing everything he can to obstruct the investigation. Tim Walz is friends with lots of school shooters. Is he also friends with lots of Somali scammers? It’s starting to look that way.
For his part, Tim Walz doesn’t appear worried about the Somali fraud rings. He’s got bigger fish to fry and truck engines to fix, because he’s a REAL MAN! And he’s not afraid to let everyone know it.
Walz appeared on a podcast earlier this year with California Governor Gavin “Wiggly Thumbs” Newsom. They spoke about some of their favorite topics, including masculinity, manhood, manliness, and the brute energy that they both exude. You have to watch this:
Be thankful that Tim Walz’s manhood is not in your grill, America!
Seriously, the only thing that could make that clip even more unintentionally hilarious would be if Kamala Harris’s nanny-impregnating husband Doug Emhoff had been there to chime in. That would have been like the Democrat Party’s Trifecta of Masculinity. We can’t believe that Tim Walz said a “beard” is not part of his identity!
At any rate, things are looking bad for Tim Walz’s political future. That’s unfortunate. Can you imagine how epic his short-lived 2028 presidential campaign would have been? Think of all the “Seriously Retarded” memes that we’re going to miss out on now!