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Dear FBI: Please Welcome Your New Boss, Attorney General Matt Gaetz!

Male FBI agent wearing dark blue coat with FBI logo looking down the street with cars in the dusk seen from behind.

President-Elect Trump has been announcing a flurry of nominations for his Cabinet this week. He’s making some fabulous choices this time compared to his first term in the White House. Are they perfect? Probably not all of them. But they’re a huge improvement over the likes of Nikki Haley, John Bolton, and other neocon rejects.

On Wednesday, Trump announced the nomination of what will be one of his most important appointments. He formally announced that he has selected Florida Congressman Matt Gaetz to be his next Attorney General.

That shocked gasp you just heard in the distance was every single employee at the FBI.

Other than Donald Trump himself, it’s hard to think of another conservative figure who has been as viciously smeared and lied about than Matt Gaetz. You could argue that in certain ways, Gaetz has been persecuted worse than Donald Trump.

 

A few years ago, someone was attempting to blackmail the Gaetz family in Florida. We don’t know the details of what the attempted blackmail was about. When the blackmailers learned that Matt’s father had a recording of them and was getting ready to turn it over to the FBI, one of them contacted the New York Times. The blackmailer told the credulous times that Matt Gaetz was under investigation for child sex trafficking.

It was a baldfaced lie but that didn’t stop it from becoming front page news. The entire mainstream media ran with the story that Matt Gaetz was an alleged child sex trafficker. Fox News stopped inviting him on for segments, even though he was one of the most popular Members of Congress at the time.

Gaetz tried to tell his side of the story about the blackmail caper, but it sounded so wild that people didn’t know what to make of it. For good measure, the fine folks at the FBI then opened a child sex trafficking investigation into Matt Gaetz—based on the word of the guy who had been trying to blackmail his family!

The FBI scoured the bushes looking for any evidence that the allegation was true. They talked to every female employee who had ever worked in Gaetz’s office. They talked to every woman he had ever dated. They even tracked down a bunch of women who knew him in college. The results were the same from every person they interviewed.

They all said that Matt Gaetz was a perfect gentleman. He was a good boss, a loyal friend, kind, warm, generous, funny, and intelligent. He was the kind of boy that a girl would want to take home to meet her dad. The FBI opened a sex trafficking investigation into a vocal Trump supporter in Congress based on zero evidence to begin with—and they found zero evidence over the course of the entire probe.

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez did tell the FBI that Gaetz was rude to her in the hallway at Congress once, but that’s a far cry from child sex trafficking.

And now Matt Gaetz will get to be the boss of the guys who frivolously investigated him for child sex trafficking! This is going to be hilarious!

President Trump praised Gaetz for his legal mind and his integrity while providing oversight of DOJ in the House Judiciary Committee. Gaetz never fell for the stupid Russia collusion hoax and he was instrumental in helping to expose it.

The Gaetz saga with the FBI is the perfect example of “weaponization of government.” That’s exactly why President Trump says he nominated Gaetz. He wants the congressman to clean up the corruption at the DOJ.

Americans have lost all faith in our justice system after the way they treated the Trump family for the past four years. That’s a precarious place for us to be as a nation. We can’t have a partisan justice system that only prosecutes crimes based on who you support politically. That is serious banana republic stuff.

Career attorneys at the Justice Department have been losing their minds ever since Donald Trump won reelection. They have good reason to be worried since they violated every norm of our justice system to go after President Trump. And now the guy they falsely accused of being a sex trafficker will be their new boss!

Gaetz says that he is honored to accept President Trump’s nomination to be the next Attorney General.


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