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New Plan to Save the Weather from Fake Global Warming: Kill Everything on Earth

CO2 Carbon dioxide emissions are absorbed by the oceans causing warming of the seas and acidification of the waters - The ocean acts as a carbon sink - concept image

A group of scientists from the Woods Hole Oceanographic Institution (WHOI) in Massachusetts has come up with a foolproof plan to solve global warming (which is fake) once and for all. It’s an ambitious plan, but they think it will work.

However, the scientists do admit that their plan could have one teeny-tiny little unexpected consequence if they follow through on it. The plan could accidentally kill all life on planet Earth. But whatever! Isn’t it worth it to have your family and loved ones all die if they can prevent global surface temperatures from increasing by 0.06 degrees Fahrenheit over the next century?

The WHOI runs a nonprofit called EXploring Ocean Iron Solutions (ExOIS). ExOIS has come up with a theory that if they dump lots of iron oxide in the ocean, it will solve the fake global warming problem permanently. By dumping powdered iron oxide on the surface of the ocean, it will cause phytoplankton to develop in those areas.

These tiny plankton eat carbon dioxide (CO2), which is not actually a greenhouse gas according to real scientists who are not lunatics like these global warming nutjobs.

When the phytoplankton die, they sink to the bottom of the ocean, carrying any CO2 that they’ve absorbed with them. ExOIS plans to begin dumping 4 billion pounds of iron oxide into the oceans every year, very soon. They’re going to start by blanketing a 3,800 square-mile area in the northeast Pacific Ocean, near Canada and Alaska.

 

Here’s where it gets truly crazy.

If they succeed in causing phytoplankton to bloom in new parts of the ocean, no one really knows where the tipping point is that will cause a catastrophic domino effect that kills all life on Earth. CO2 is not actually a harmful gas. It’s necessary for life on Earth. It’s plant food.

I can’t believe it’s 2024 and I have to explain this.

Dear fifth graders and politicians: plants absorb carbon dioxide from the air we breathe and use it for food, converting it into oxygen in the process. That’s the stuff that YOU breathe so you can live.

If this cockamamie plan removes too much CO2 from the earth’s atmosphere, it will eventually reach that tipping point where food crops, trees, grass, and other forms of plant life will start to die. That will set off a chain reaction.

If you’re lucky enough to live in an area where all the crops don’t die off initially, you’ll have to live through the part of the movie where every living thing chokes to death, because there’s no longer enough oxygen being created by all the plants that the “scientists” killed.

As far as we can tell, ExOIS has not asked for permission from the Canadian or US governments to start dumping 4 billion pounds of iron oxide in the Pacific Ocean every year. These nutjobs always believe it’s better to ask for forgiveness than to ask for permission.

We’ve been reporting on similar efforts earlier this year when goody-two-shoes globalists try to “help” everyone by tampering with nature without permission.

A cloud-seeding experiment in the UAE a few months ago caused the worst flooding Dubai and Oman have experienced since Noah built the earth. They made it rain, but they couldn’t make it stop raining. Hundreds of thousands of homes and cars were destroyed. Dozens of people drowned. No one even hanged the scientists who inadvertently caused all that destruction and misery.

Bill Gates decided he was going to solve the dengue fever problem in South America. He financed a company that genetically modified one billion mosquitoes that were supposed to be resistant to dengue fever. The scientists then dumped the mosquitoes loose in the three most populated cities in Brazil, without asking for permission. The result was the worst dengue fever outbreak in South America in decades.

It turned out that when the genetically modified super-mosquitoes bred with the native mosquitoes, the offspring were turned into mutant dengue fever superspreaders. The Biden State Department has issued a Level 2 Travel Warning for Americans to take extra precautions if they plan on taking a trip to Brazil during mosquito season. Thanks, Bill Gates!

Unintended consequences.

On the bright side, at least some of the global warming kooks are starting to admit that their ambitious plans could kill everyone. Now if we could just get them to follow the science and admit that carbon dioxide is not a greenhouse gas and that it’s not dangerous.


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