After a devastating fire destroyed Pacific Palisades back in January, California Governor Gavin Newsom told the world that Global Warming caused the devastation. Unless we “act now,” Newsom insisted, there would be more Global Warming, more fires, and the weather would kill us all by the year 2162. Today, we are happy to announce that Donald Trump has ended the scourge of Global Warming. The Justice Department has arrested Global Warming near his home in Florida and charged him with setting the deadly Pacific Palisades fires.
Acting US Attorney Bill Essayli made the announcement on Wednesday. Federal agents arrested Global Warming in Melbourne, FL, on Tuesday. The 29-year-old Global Warming is an Uber driver who goes by the pseudonym “Jonathan Rinderknecht.” Global Warming has also used aliases such as Jonathan Rinder and Jon Rinder.
Charging documents show that Rinderknecht is believed to have started the Lachman Fire in Los Angeles on New Year’s Day. The Los Angeles Fire Department extinguished that blaze, but the roots of the desert scrub brush continued to smolder for days afterward. Rinderknecht’s cell phone pinged on that location in the hills above Pacific Palisades before the fire started, and prosecutors say he later came back to watch the fire as crews were putting it out.
Several days later, heavy winds picked up. The smoldering roots reignited, and that started the Pacific Palisades blaze. The fires destroyed 6,800 structures in Pacific Palisades, more than 1,500 in Malibu, and another 1,000 businesses, schools, churches, and other structures. Twelve people died while trying to flee the blaze.
The corruption and incompetence of Governor Gavin Newsom and Los Angeles Mayor Karen Bass were on full display during the catastrophe. 33% of the fire trucks in L.A. were in the shop for repairs during the fire. The reservoir in the mountains above the city was completely empty. It had been emptied months ago for repairs that had never happened. When fire trucks tapped into hydrants in Pacific Palisades, there was no water to put out the blazing homes.
When President Trump paid a visit to Los Angeles, both Newsom and Bass made a solemn promise to the people who had lost their homes. Even though Global Warming was to blame for the fire, they would free up all available resources to help people rebuild. They’d waive the permitting process so people could quickly put their lives back together. It would be like a new Marshall Plan, but for Pacific Palisades.
Those promises were made more than eight months ago.
As of October 7, the day when President Trump stopped Global Warming, let’s check on the progress that Gavin Newsom has made. He is, after all, hoping to be the next President of the United States in 2029.
In Pacific Palisades, about 1,600 people have applied for permits to rebuild their homes. Only 600 permits have been issued thus far. In Malibu, 128 people applied for permits, and the city has issued only two (2).
Wow. That’s… an A+ effort there, Newsom. Great stuff. He’s definitely presidential material.
As for Rinderknecht, prosecutors say that he lived in Pacific Palisades back in January when he allegedly started the fire. So far, Rinderknecht has been charged with one federal felony, destruction of property by means of fire. It carries a mandatory minimum five-year prison sentence, and a maximum of up to 20 years in prison.
It’s very likely that additional charges will be filed, especially since 12 people died in the fire. Investigators have seized Rinderknecht’s computer. They released images that he allegedly created using ChatGPT, showing burning cities and people fleeing from the flames. It’s unclear whether that will be used as evidence against him in the case.
Politicians like Gavin Newsom are all talk. He constantly talks about Global Warming but never comes up with a real solution. He blamed Pacific Palisades on Global Warming, and then his solution was to ban gas-powered lawn mowers. Californians have to pay $7,000 for a stupid electric lawn mower at Lowe’s because of this.
President Trump is all action and a Man of Solutions. He just cured Global Warming. It looks like Global Warming is going away for a long time now. We hope the president gets the Nobel Prize for Science for this.